By Abdelfatah Bourouies
Fez - Through seeking to know our inner self, we discover ‘nuggets’ lying dormant - human qualities, creative talents, family traditions - simple experiences that have forged positive reflexes, skills and behavior: ‘natural’ joy and happiness, our ability to reach out to others, softness and inner life, love of nature, love of family, interest in science, curiosity about other cultures, interest in languages and passion for reading.
We can recall these little treasures by rethinking our past: compliments made to us, experiences and situations that made us happy.
The best is not necessarily the best
We should be careful not to look for just the ‘big’ things, like exceptional creative talents or performance abilities. What is exceptional, by definition, is rare. What you do ‘better’ doesn’t need to make you ‘the best’ in a competitive way. In general, we don’t have a very clear idea of ??what ‘the best’ is; rather, we tend to associate it with notions of competing against others.
By searching within ourselves, we may find hidden human qualities, such as the ability to listen and be a mediator; skills not yet included in the general educational system, though qualities that are highly valued in business environments.
So, don’t be discouraged by your failures, your bad results, or the negative judgment by others. Be careful not to fall into the trap of sterile comparisons (“I’m not as beautiful as my sister, not as intelligent as my cousin, not as sporty as my neighbor...”), but return to the central idea that you have excellent capabilities, and that only you can explore them.
Think back to the activities that gave you pleasure
A good way to discover your qualities can be simply through asking trusted friends, family or teachers. What qualities do they see in you?
A method, called the "360°", is used in business and guidance coaching to help people get to know themselves, but a simpler method is to think of moments from your past when you were really happy. Ask yourself what qualities you were deploying then: organizational skills, practical spirit, love of nature, love for endurance? These young shoots are still there, so now you only need to help them blossom.
The ‘best’ grows within us day after day
As the proverb says, "Rome wasn’t built in a day." Whatever talents and qualities you already have, you need to cultivate them, growing them step by step. Deploy them at work, when training or learning. Do you have a passion for music? Well, its arduous practice turns that passion into a talent. Even the best artists don’t hide their years of hard work.
Getting ‘the best’ out of our lives is a work in progress. Whatever the circumstances, we’re not here to succeed at all costs, with a paralyzing fear in our stomachs, but we can ‘do our best’, depending on our qualities, our values, our particular strengths, and unique personalities. We can do it with all our heart, and be very successful in our own different ways.
Make the best out of the worst— it's possible
We need to avoid laziness, or zapping from one activity to another, as they both stop us from discovering ‘the best’ in ourselves.
And we can’t allow ourselves to get trapped into complaining about ‘bad luck’ in our lives. We can navigate torrents, and bounce back from failure or trauma, and follow another challenge to success.
Finally, that overflow of activity, where we fill our lives with parties, and so-called friends, and hours spent on social networks; we fill the voids and worry, whilst forgetting to ask the only important question: "What will make me the happiest?", or “What motivates me in life?”
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